


in which dan's life is literally a romantic comedy

by st0rrm



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-11 03:18:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3311960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/st0rrm/pseuds/st0rrm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(This is mostly just a series of drabbles and one shots that somehow tie into each other.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why

**Author's Note:**

> honestly this is all over the place and i am so sorry for that but i felt like writing this so here u go pls enjoy  
>  the title got changed and its still highly irrelevant but its a bit more accurate

**START**

 

It had always been common knowledge to you, but you were in love with your flatmate, Phil. Hell, you still are.

 

You were never sure on whether it was a platonic kind of love, or a romantic kind of love. Sometimes you would catch yourself staring at him, and you would think about all of his features.

 

His voice; that one was probably your favorite. It was deep, and rich, but it cracked when he was nervous, and you found it absolutely adorable. You love the way his voice sounds whenever he sings; whether it's a sarcastic kind of singing, or it's the kind of singing you catch him doing when he thinks he's alone, you love it.

 

His eyes are a close second. Sometimes they're the same shade of blue as the sky, other times they're the same shade of blue as the ocean. Something about them—it's mesmerizing. You've always had a thing about his eyes. You could stare at them for days. Sometimes, when he looks at you, your heart starts to race. Your voice catches in your throat—and you forget how to breath. He is breathtakingly beautiful.

 

His hair is amazing. (Pun totally intended.) You love his hair. You love his hair so much, that you even get the same hair cut as him, in hopes of looking equally as stunning. Of course, you feel that you don't look as stunning, especially in comparison to him. His hair is _perfect._ You love the way that it curls after a shower, even if it's not that much. You like the way it's all messy in the mornings, especially the moment he wakes up.

 

His hands—oh, man, you could go on for _days_ about his hands. How slender they are, and how delicate yet strong they look. His hands are important to you. When you see his hands, you remember the way they feel when he squeezes your shoulder after a rough day. You remember the way his hand felt on the back of your head when he pulled you into a hug after you had your breakdown (that eventually led up to you dropping out of university.) You especially think about the way you can _feel_ something whenever they brush against yours in the kitchen, or when you're on a train heading to visit his family or yours.

 

His facial expressions; they're the most mesmerizing thing about him. Other than his eyes. And his voice. And his personality. But anyways, they get the point. His facial expressions are a thing that you can read like the back of your hand, but they're also something that you're still struggling to understand. You enjoy the way his eyes light up and his mouth twitches into a smile whenever you walk into a room, or whenever you give him a silly little gift, or hell, even when you tell a shitty joke.

 

It makes your stomach churn, though, when his eyes glaze over, his eyebrows go down, and his smile drops. This expression, the _grave_ one, is a scary one. It means a few things to you. One: Someone offended him, whether it be by insulting you, or someone invading his privacy. Two: He's mad; genuinely angry. You've never had this expression geared towards you, but every time you see it, you get a little twinge of anxiety, a “What if?”

 

Sometimes, the times that confuse you, are the ones that give you a smidgen of hope, that _maybe, maybe he actually returns the feelings._ Sometimes you'll say something, you'll push the boundaries a little bit, and his cheeks with turn a very light shade of pink. His mouth will form that breathtaking, lopsided, trademark grin of his, and his eyes will shine with something unreadable. But almost as soon as you notice the expression, it disappears, and he changes the subject.

 

His personality is something that you could write literal novels about. He's kind, he's strong, he's friendly, and he's (sometimes) overly optimistic. You've also, though, seen the sides of him that aren't so nice. You've seen his side that doubts himself, and honestly, you hate when you see this side. You don't hate that it exists, because, hell, everyone has that side, but you hate the fact that someone so simply _amazing_ could possibly doubt themselves.

 

Sometimes, it's you who's hugging Phil, and calming him down. And to you, that is so _weird._ Normally it's you who pitches a fit about things, and it's him who figures out how to calm you down. But you don't really mind the role reversal. You would do anything for this man. You could even honestly say that you would die for him, if the situation arose.

 

In conclusion, you think it's safe to say that you've got it _bad._

 

**PAUSE**


	2. Chapter 2

**RESUME**

 

One of your favorite memories with Phil isn't really a very important one. At least, not figuratively. Of course, to you, it's probably the most relevant thing to ever happen, but from an outside point of view, it is so unbelievably irrelevant.

 

The two of you were standing on the balcony of your hotel room (while attending Vidcon, in Anaheim, California.) It was windy, and for some reason, you couldn't really keep your eyes off of him. He had a glass of wine in his hand, and a mystified look in his eyes. He was staring at the sunset. You watched his hair, as it moved along with the wind. He didn't seem to care; he was tired and was trying to relax.

 

“Dan, do you ever think about what would happen if, like, there was a point in your life where you wouldn't have held back? Like, _'Oh, what if I had actually kissed them?'_ Do you ever wonder about stuff like that?”

 

“Phil, look at who you're talking to. Of course I do. I've been thinking about stuff like that a lot recently, if I'm honest.” You sighed and took a sip of your own wine. You didn't really like the flavor, but you were aiming for a mild buzz.

 

“Hmm...” Phil swished the wine around in his glass, “ _'What if...'”_ You looked at him again. He had that look in his eyes; one of the ones that confused you and made you question things between the two of you. “Sorry, I don't know what I'm on about. Must be the wine...” He looked like he was about to say something. His face looked a little sad, and you wondered if maybe he was going to confess his undying love for you, but you internally shook your head, because that would be stupid. Why would Phil do that?

 

**PAUSE**

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres an alternate ending to this chappter and tbh its great j s

**RESUME**

 

The first time you kiss him is a few months after the small moment in Anaheim. The power had gone out in your flat during a storm, so the two of you had built a blanket and pillow fort in the lounge.

 

The fort was going good, until you moved wrong, and brought an avalanche of pillows and blankets tumbling down onto the two of you. Phil squeaked, then giggled. You had sworn, saying, “Shit!” when the avalanche had started, but you soon dissolved into a fit of giggles alongside Phil.

 

You can't really remember why you kissed him, but you did. You had leaned over, and pressed your lips against his as if it was the most normal thing you'd ever done, and before you had even realized what you had done, he kissed back. _He kissed back._

 

Your hand snaked up to run through his hair, before coming to rest on the back of his head as you deepened the kiss.

 

You were afraid to open your eyes. You didn't want to face the music. But eventually, your chocolate brown eyes flicked open, to find that Phil was giving you the most awestruck look. His eyes were probably the _brightest_ you had ever seen them. The only other time you remember them being that bright, was when the two of you had met for the first time.

 

The two of you maintained eye contact for a long while. You stared at his pale face, which was lit only by the dim light coming from the windows. “Wow.” That was the word from Phil that broke the silence.

 

You had thought about this moment countless times. You always figured that you would apologize for ten years, then move out and away from Phil, but instead of apologizing or going to extreme measures, you snorted. You fucking _snorted,_ and right after you snorted, Phil snorted, and the two of you started giggling even more.

 

The rest of the day was spent with the two of you sharing small kisses, and giggling like little school girls.

 

**ALTERNATE ENDING**

 

 

The two of you maintained eye contact for a long while. You stared at his pale face, which was lit only by the dim light coming from the windows. “No homo.” Those were the first words from Phil that broke the silence.

 

You had imagined this moment numerous times before, but you never imagined that _Phil the Asshole_ would've said _that_ to you. “Literally, shut the fuck up,” You snorted, and the two of you started giggling before kissing again. And again. And _again._

 

**PAUSE**

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cat is my favorite i want to include her more in this series of unfortunate events

**RESUME**

 

Part of why you liked your relationship with Phil, is because it was just...Easy. And, after the kiss, it wasn't awkward like you had predicted. Things just continued on like normal, except, there was kissing and cuddling added into the mix.

Other people could see it. Your fans, definitely. They would constantly badger and pick at the two of you, but, whenever the situation arose, neither of you ever gave any definite answers. No one really _knew._

Your friends would ask. The only one of them that got their answer, though, was Cat. “Dan, you're probably tired of this question, but, are you and Phil actually a thing? You, uh, you don't need to answer if you don't want to.”

“I _guess_ so.” You and Cat were sitting in the lounge, drinking beer. Phil had gone to bed early, on account of him being tired. “We haven't really discussed it, if I'm honest.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, we kiss and cuddle and stuff, but we never felt the need to slap any labels on it. I mean, if I were to slap a label on it, I'd say we're boyfriends, but I don't know...It just feels like normal? It's like being best friends, with maybe a little bit more.”

“It sounds nice.” After this, she changed the subject, and the two of you didn't discuss it again.

Any other time anyone had asked you, you would just shrug and change the subject. It wasn't any of their business, and you didn't feel comfortable with announcing it to the world. Phil probably had different views on the matter.

 

**PAUSE**

 


	5. Chapter 5

**RESUME**

 

One day, in the middle of December, Phil crawls into bed with you, claiming that it was too cold in his room for him to survive. You had just grumbled out a response before scooting over and allowing him to crawl into bed with you.

Phil draped an arm over your chest, and used your right arm as a pillow. You intertwined the fingers of your left hand with his right hand. Before drifting off back to sleep, you remember thinking about what Phil feels like: _home._

Later in the day, when you were taking your daily shower, you thought about the moment you finally felt at home. It was the day you met Phil.

Before you met Phil, you had always felt out of place; it was as if you didn't belong. You didn't have a best friend—everyone you were friends with always had someone they liked more than you. But when you met Phil, that all changed. Quickly, the two of you had become each other's world.

You had stepped off of the train, and had made eye contact with Phil. The two of you ran towards each other, and had gripped each other in a deathly tight embrace. You felt so _warm._ Everything was _right._ In that moment nothing else really seemed to matter. It was corny, but it was also fantastic.

The week that you spent with Phil was, honestly, the best week of your life. It was spent with hugs and movie marathons. You were just so happy, so happy that you finally _belonged._ Even now, nearly four years later, you were still ecstatic about it.

You've always felt incredibly in debt to Phil.

Phil changed your world. He came into it, and didn't give you time to adjust. Phil didn't bring you out of your shell, oh _hell no_ he didn't, he lifted you up by the collar of your shirt, and drop kicked you out of it.

Whenever you think about the impact Phil has had on your life, you seek him out, and give him a bear hug, saying, “Thanks.”

 

**PAUSE**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's day! :D

**RESUME**

 

One night while you're lying awake in bed, you think about the exact moment you realized you were in love with Phil.

To describe it, you would say it was gradual and slow, then all at once. You would think about it; your feelings. You knew you liked him more than you should, but you could never place a finger on it, until a moment in 2011.

The moment took place about four or five months after you moved into a flat with Phil, in Manchester. The two of you were watching a late night program on the television, and you, for some reason, couldn't take your eyes off of him. The lights were off, and the only light hitting his face was from the TV.

He was watching the program (a documentary), with total attentiveness. He was fascinated by it, and you were fascinated with how much he was fascinated. (That was a cluster-fuck of words, wasn't it?) Phil had his arms around his legs, effectively holding them against his chest. He was also wrapped in a duvet.

You got this... _feeling_ deep in your chest. It almost made your heart hurt, but at the same time, it was _new_ and, honestly, you had no fucking clue what it meant. Well, you didn't have a clue until you actually thought about it. _“Fuck, I love him so much.”_

That thought scared you. It scared the living shit out of you. _Love?_ For Christ's sake, you're twenty years old. You _cannot_ be in love.

Even though the feelings kept growing after this night, you would push them to the back of your mind; you would ignore them.

You rolled over in your bed, and sighed. _“Why didn't I just fucking tell him...Would've saved both of us a shit ton of trouble.”_

 

**PAUSE**

 


	7. phil the pun master volume 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i made this shitty ass comic on tumblr so i decided to novelize it pls love me

**RESUME**

 

You were wheezing. You swore you could taste blood in your mouth. “Jesus....Phil....my legs....are on fire....” You were stopping to catch your breath.

Phil stopped next to you, wheezing probably just about as bad. “I guess...this means...” Your head snapped up to him.

“ _Don't you fucking do it.”_ Your eyes narrowed, his eyebrows raised.

“Dan _is_ on fire,” He started cackling immediately after, and you groaned. Loudly.

“You're fucking _dead_ to me.”

**PAUSE**

 


	8. Chapter 8

**RESUME**

 

You were walking to your kitchen around 3AM one morning. It wasn't anything abnormal; you just wanted a late night cup of tea. How very British of you. Anyways, to get to the point of the story: You heard weird, burglar type noises from the kitchen.

You backtracked to your bedroom, and grabbed some old baseball bat that you don't remember purchasing. You quietly padded back to the kitchen, and opened the glass door, yelling, “STOP RIGHT THERE!”

“Jesus, Dan, what the hell are you doing?!” You flicked the lights on to see Phil with a handful of cereal in his, you know, hand.

“What the hell am _I_ doing? What the hell are _you_ doing?! Jesus, Phil, I thought you were a burglar.” Phil stared at you for a few seconds before you heard a small snort. He was straining; trying so _fucking hard_ not to laugh.

Of course, though, you were the one to laugh first. After your laughter subsided, you noticed something. “Wait, is that _my_ cereal?”

“....No?” You had to give him at least a little credit. He tried, didn't he?

“So, let me get this straight. It's three in the fucking morning and you're in here, _eating my cereal?”_

Phil slowly closed the cereal box and put it back into the cupboard. He looked at you, and said, very slowly but surely, “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“You do too, you ass! You were literally just eating my cereal!”

“No I wasn't. You're insane, Daniel.” You saw the slight twitch of Phil's mouth. He was so close to losing it. So close.

“Oh, shut-up.” You rolled your eyes before taking a few steps towards him and planting a kiss on his cheek. “Seriously though, Phil, this is like the third time I've caught you with my cereal.”

 

**PAUSE**


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt from phanfic.tumblr.com: phil sneaks into dan's room one morning with the moose flute, puts it up to dan's ear and blows it really loudly to scare dan out of sleep
> 
> note: This is from Phil's pov. Just warning you!! 0:

**RESUME**

 

You were up to no good.

Pranking people isn't in your nature. It's in Dan's nature, sure, but not yours. But, for some reason, you felt absolutely _compelled_ to do this. You walked out of the office with the moose kazoo in hand, and started heading towards Dan's bedroom.

It was about 2:36 PM, and Dan was still asleep. The two of you had a video to record for the gaming channel, and Dan was due for another one of his main channel videos, and, frankly, he needed to wake up. _Now._

You slowly turned the knob to Dan's bedroom, and slowly pushed it open as to not wake him up earlier than intended.

You leaned over him, and positioned the mouth of the moose kazoo near his ear. You blew as hard as you could into the moose's asshole. The noise it made, well, it was loud and absolutely and undeniably _terrifying._

“Fucking hell, Philip Lester!” Dan jumped and _almost_ punched you in the face. The only reason he didn't was because you jumped out of the way before he could. “I am going to get you,” Dan threatened before he chased you out of his room. If anything, you hauled ass. Major ass.

You only got into the lounge before Dan cornered you. “Give me the moose kazoo.”

“No,” You replied. You were laughing. He wasn't. He _really_ wasn't laughing. You had a little twinge of worry; _What if I pissed him off?_

“Phil, give me the fucking moose kazoo. I am throwing it away.”

You responded the first way you thought how to: You stuck the moose kazoo into your underwear.

“What are you, ten?” Dan rolled his eyes before literally _sticking his hand into your underwear._

Your face turned about a thousand and one shades of red, and Dan acted as if he wasn't even phased.

**PAUSE**

 


	10. Things Phil has Learned Not to Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone posted a prompt on Phanfic that said: “were always making stupid bets like 'I dare you to drink a whole bottle of barbecue sauce'” and I thought of this one roosterteeth video where gavin dared michael to drink a whole bottle of bbq sauce and anyways moral of the story this was born pls enjoy
> 
> also bet u thought i wouldnt update hmm

Things Phil Has Learned Not To Do

#1: Make bets with Dan. He will do whatever you dare him to do, and you will owe him five hundred pounds.

 

“Bet you five hundred pounds that you cant drink a whole bottle of barbecue sauce.” You hold up a bottle of barbecue sauce, and Dan looks at you.

“Alright,” He takes the bottle from you.

He unscrews the lid, and at this point you try covering yourself, especially since seeing he was serious about it. “If you don't drink it, though, you owe me five hundred pounds.”

“You're on, Lester,” Dan takes a gulp of the barbecue sauce. “It's not that bad, actually,” He gets halfway through the bottle, and gives you a look. “You're fucked.” He gets a few more gulps down, before speaking again. “I'm going to have a massive case of heartburn, but, I will be five hundred pounds richer.” His “matter-of-fact” tone irked you.

You couldn't believe this kid. He finished the bottle, and said, “Bet you didn't think I'd do it, did you?”

At this moment, you knew.

He did this to fucking spite you.

 


	11. dan the blanket hog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is a blanket hog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ??? idk i wrote this in like 15 minutes pls love me

**RESUME**

The coldest night you’ve experienced since you lived in Manchester is the night that Dan decides to be a blanket hog. At first, the two of you start off spooning, with his arms wrapped around you and his face buried into his neck. Then, somehow, he ended up being, basically, a burrito with a blanket tortilla and a Dan flavored filling.

You were shivering. Your teeth chattered and your hands were cold enough that you were sure that every vein that had ever existed in them was visible. “Dan,” You mumbled, trying to pull the blanket from around him.

He groans and rolls over.

You try again. _“Dan.”_ You pull on the blankets a little harder.

He groans, louder, and curls into himself.

“Dan, _please.”_

“What?” He grumbles out, his voice muffled by the blanket and his voice raspy from sleepiness.

“You’re being a blanket hog,” You whine.

“Sounds like a personal problem.” You sigh at the sleepy, yet oddly snarky response.

“Dan, please. Sharing is _caring,”_ You take on the voice of a primary school teacher.

Dan groans one of those “God, you’re awful,” groans before kicking his legs in an attempt to shove you off the bed.

It worked. But, your attempt in bringing him down with you by grasping onto the blanket for dear life, well, that worked too. “Phil, you prick!” He yelped before landing on top of you. Dan grunted something at you before trying to go back to sleep. On top of you. On the floor. At 2:56 AM.

“Dan, for the love of god,” You shove him off of you and get back onto the bed, grabbing the blanket and bringing it up with you before he has the chance to take it for himself, “Quit being an ornery shit.”

**PAUSE**


End file.
